Friday, January 13, 2012

It's Friday the 13th: Cow Terrorism!

Happy Friday the Thirteenth! There are three of these in 2012: in January, April, and July. That is as many as possible in one year, which is more evidence in favor of the end of the world happening in 2012. It might be cheaper if you started purchasing your dehydrated food now. And for all of you with friggatriskaidekaphobia, stay indoors.

Because of this auspicious date, I am going to use this as an opportunity to get the word out: Cow Abduction. This is a very serious problem. There have been 1,545,590 cow abductions to date. This is cattle terrorism. Spread the word.

 So today, keep an eye on your corn fields, don't let out cows, and especially don't let out your children.


  1. I've left my body and am now living online. It's great. I don't have to eat.