WARNING: Reading the following text without proper authorization may cause pneumonia.
75 billion years ago, Xenu, the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy (which consisted of 26 stars and 76 planets), was in danger of having his power and authority forcefully taken from him. In an effort to rid the confederacy of extra people, he rounded up several billion people and paralyzed and froze them to capture their souls. They were then loaded onto a spacecraft and transported to the planet Teegeeack, where he had them stacked around volcanoes which were then blown up with hydrogen bombs. All but a few of the aliens died. The souls of those poor unfortunate "extras" exploded into the air and were caught by Xenu's electric ribbon and then brainwashed with misleading information and false identities and released back onto the planet.
What planet is that, again? you ask.
Teegeeack is currently known as Earth.
This, my friends, is Scientology.
75 billion years ago, Xenu, the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy (which consisted of 26 stars and 76 planets), was in danger of having his power and authority forcefully taken from him. In an effort to rid the confederacy of extra people, he rounded up several billion people and paralyzed and froze them to capture their souls. They were then loaded onto a spacecraft and transported to the planet Teegeeack, where he had them stacked around volcanoes which were then blown up with hydrogen bombs. All but a few of the aliens died. The souls of those poor unfortunate "extras" exploded into the air and were caught by Xenu's electric ribbon and then brainwashed with misleading information and false identities and released back onto the planet.
What planet is that, again? you ask.
Teegeeack is currently known as Earth.
This, my friends, is Scientology.
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