The Year of the Jellyfish

It's the New Year, and as we all look forward to our new and improved lives, pay vigorous attention to our resolutions, and intensely focus our efforts on altering our lifestyles (yeah right), there is one crucial detail that we should beware: the Jellyfish.

Watch out - they're going to get you!

The number of jellyfish in our oceans is rising (see news article here). I think they might take over the world. Scientists say it's just a cycle - every 20 years or so the number of jellyfish reaches a high - but I don't believe it. Maybe scientists are plotting to take over the world using jellyfish. Maybe the dolphins are about to launch a massive offensive against humans, as a test of which species' intelligence is really higher. Maybe the CIA is training jellyfish to carryout stealth missions against other countries. Maybe NASA is secretly imitating the way jellyfish move to create some sort of awesome spaceship... or are going to use jellyfish as spaceships. Or maybe aliens have tapped into the jellyfish mind and are going to use them to take over Earth.

I mean, imagine it - weird wobbly fish with the ability to zap you with magical poisonous lightning, increasing in population to the point that the ocean water just bubbles with their round little heads - and then they all suddenly ATTACK.

Perhaps 2013 will be the end of the world.

At any rate, here is my New Year's advice: don't get behind on your resolutions, and watch out for jellyfish!

*Picture from here.

2012: The Year of Doing Things

I don't think I will make it to the Moon this year. In fact, I think it is highly unlikely that I will even get to space. There are a number of other things, however, that are completely within the realm of possibility. Since it is New Year's, I probably should be making resolutions, but I believe that if I can't make myself do something any other time during the year, why should I try now, especially when it's cold outside? So instead, I have come up with several things I would like to do at any point during this year:


Hang gliding. It's like flying, but since I don't have wings, I have to piggyback on something else that flies through the air, and I doubt a bird would very much appreciate a stowaway.


Breathing. I would like to keep breathing incessantly for the next 366 days. It might sound like a lot of effort, but I think I can keep up with it. I will give myself a little leeway--I can stop breathing, but not for more than two minutes.


Ride on a train. Trains are stupendous. I've always wanted to be a train engineer, and one day, once I've saved up enough money to go to train engineer school, maybe I will. For now, though, I will just have to satisfy myself with just riding on one. I'd like to ride on a train whose tracks traverse Mars or Titan, but I think that is just as unlikely to happen this year as reaching the Moon. So I will have to settle for Vermont.


As far as the end of the world: I doubt it. But I bet generator sales will increase in November. I hope you all have a good year, full of food and breathing, and absent of zombies and nearby exploding suns. Come visit NH, and good luck with your New Year's resolutions!