Gaheris the Turtle

This is my turtle:

His name is Gaheris (after a knight of the round table, Arthur's nephew and Gawain's brother), and he is is an Eastern Painted Turtle. I rescued Gaheris from the malevolent schemes of an SUV, who tried desperately to squash Gaheris into the saddest lump you've ever seen. All I can say, is that somewhere a butterfly must have flapped its wings one time too many.

Today, however, I realized it was time to let him go. So, together, Goblin and I took the long journey to deposit him back into the wild. Now, he is free, and the universe is right again.

What Kind of Book Are You Looking For?

What kind of book are you looking for? There are millions of them, some less tantalizing, others more so--but sometimes you just can't find what you want. Here are five books, in five different genres, that I enjoyed.

Do you like fantasy? Do you like swords and sorcery? Are you tired of happy fantasy, where everyone lives and good always triumphs? Are you looking for something dark and mysterious, but with all of the imagination and captivating detail of any good fantasy novel? Try Christopher Kellen's newest novel Legacy, the second in a three part trilogy about a dying world and the desperate efforts of five heroes to save it from the rotting torments of death. Of course, you might just want to start at the beginning, so check out Elegy too!

Do you like plays? Do you like social satire? Do you like British Humor? Do you like classic literature? Try Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest, a hilarious story about a gentleman who pretends to have an ill cousin in order to avoid unfavourable social events. And if you click here you can get it for free!

Do you like adventure? Do you like King Arthur? Do you like a world of knights and kings and the fight of good versus evil? Do you like a little humor and romance mixed in (but not too much because it might make you gag)? Try Gerald Morris' The Savage Damsel and the Dwarf. A young princess travels to King Arthur's court to find a knight to rescue her castle from the siege of an untoward knight. Along the way there (and back) she learns about what love, life, and knighthood are all about.

Do you like princesses? Perhaps the rather typical "princess discovers birthright, princess marries prince" or "girl is poor, girl marries prince" story lines are getting a bit old. Try Kate Coombs' The Runaway Princess, in which the main character, Margaret, discovers that her father is holding a contest for all the princes to come rid the kingdom of the dragon, the witch and the bandits,. The prize for winning is Margaret herself. She gets locked in a tower but escapes in an act of definance, and sets off on a mission to rescue the dragon, the witch, and the bandits from the evil princes.

Do you like science fiction? Do you want something a little weird and hard to digest? Do want a book that might have a happy ending or might have a sad ending depending on your perspective on the world? Try Greg Bear's Blood Music. An angry scientist, cleaning out is laboratory after being fired, injects a strain of intelligent bacteria into his blood stream and watches as the world around him (and the world within him) begins to change.

First Date Small Talk

I am not a fan of small talk. It is awkward and extremely boring. So, I have compiled a list of conversation starters for next time I go on a first date or for an awkward company car drive, or to use as vacation time killers or for random people on the street to start random-people-on-the-street conversations. These are questions you can ask me to peak my interest. These are not applicable to everyone. Make sure you actually can discuss the topic, however; otherwise, you will lose the game. Which I just lost. Also, most of these questions can be followed by the question "why?".

1. Who is your favourite Doctor Who character?

2. What is your favourite type of precipitation?

3. If you could go to any fictional planet, which one would you visit?

4. What do you think of outer space?

5. What do you think of the recent political changes affecting NASA?

6. What is your least favourite type of small talk?

7. What is your favourite word?

8. What word do you think best describes tornadoes? Spring? Space? Battlestar Galactica? Etc.?

9. Where is Carmen Sandiego?

10. Tell me about your family.

11. What do you think of rock walls?

12. Who is Rutherford the Unicorn-Sheep?

13. What methods do you think we as a society should enact to get to space?

14. Let's discuss asteriods.

15. Which is your favourite real planet?

16. What is your favourite non-profit organization? Why?

17. If you could pick three mythical creatures to be your roommates, which ones would you pick?

18. What is your favourite piece of theatrical lighting equipment?

19. Which do you like better: a Source4 Parcan or a PAR 64?

20. What was your favourite class in college?

21. Which King Arthur was your favourite: the one from The Sword in the Stone, Merlin, Cretien de Trois, or Gerald Morris' books (The Squire's Tales)?

22. If you could learn any language, which one would you pick?

23. What is your favourite memory of beekeeping?

24. Where's Waldo?

25. How do you plan to get to space?

26. Tell me about your cat.

27.  Which do you think is more important: society going to space or animal rights?

On the same note, a first date/car ride/vacation conversation/random-people-on-the-street conversation can be just as boring if the topic is unpleasant or awkward.

This is a list of things you should not ask me about:

1. Politicians.

2. Terrorism.

3. Rick Perry.

4. Hormones.

5. Sharia Law.

6. The number 4.

7. Country music.

Who wants to bet that next time Dave comes over his first comment will be, "So Ariele, I read this really fascinating article today, in which Rick Perry and a bunch of other politicians were discussing the interrelated nature of terrorism and Sharia law while listening to country music and complaining about their wives hormonal mood swings. Also, four. Four. Four, four..."

Nah. Dave would never use the phrase "in which". But he might just start chanting "four, four, four four..."