Leaping Into the Universe - Children's Literature Week

The thing I like the most about children's stories (aside from the fact that they're chock full of magic and wonder) is the way they can make it possible to take a leap from your living room chair into the whole of the universe.

Take Diary of a Worm by Doreen Cronin, for example.

On the first page, it introduces the idea that the world is much bigger than just us. Then it goes on to talk about the specifics of our world... from the perspective of a worm, but in the context of something much larger.

Simple, but effective.

Or take this book: 

Tuesday opens up the idea that everything is weirder than you can imagine...

...that anything is possible...

...and that you can never predict tomorrow. In addition, there aren't any words in the book, so it allows you to tell the story yourself.

The Magic School Bus uses facts. It says "look how amazing the universe is. For real!"

...except for the whole "magic" part...

If you check out Baloney (Henry P.) by Jon Scieszka and Lane Smith, it takes the total opposite approach - take a look at the immense potential for exploration that is available just inside your own mind.

Also it has fantastic pictures.

But my favourite of all has to be The Big Pets by Lane Smith. First of all, the illustrations are spectacular (you may notice that the images are oddly similar to the illustrations in Baloney)... 

...and secondly, it takes you from simple, wonderful, and calm imaginary place where the girl is small and the cat is big...

...to the massive majesty and awe of the universe in one two-page spread. I could stare at this page all day.

...with the milk and the cat and cat toys and the stars
and the globe in the corner there and the yarn
and the little cat houses
and all of the cats!

Children's stories are great, and if you keep looking and reading, you'll find the perfect one: a story that opens up the whole of the universe just for you in just a few short pages.

To check out more blogs about children's literature, visit the Genre Underground.

This is what's great about summer

Summer is hot sometimes. Less often in the northern part of the country. But it is great. Here are some of my reasons why:

Giant Vegetables

Picnics!

Sunglasses

Thunderstorms!

Butterflies

 Geese, naturally.

 Frogs (especially of the giant, wet, and slimy variety)

Snakes--but only the playful kind

Flowers

Giant house-eating vines with flowers

Bees! and beekeeping, too.

These ones have been in this tree far too long.

Cats, because everybody likes cats

More cat! and a rabbit, and peacocks, all living together but without the eating each other part (we hope)

Deer, of the baby variety

In conclusion, what is great about summer is this: thunderstorms, food, plants, animals, and fun.

The Cat and the Peacock

Out of all of the animals in the universe, I happen to like cats. Cats are funny. I am currently owned by only one cat, but have many other cats in my life. For example, Charles, who currently resides with my parents, looks like this:

Giant, orange, male, and very kingly, Charles also likes to drape his massive body over whatever warm surface he can find (usually a human), and lick toes (and fingers, and arms, and faces...).

Cats are terribly odd creatures. So what happens when you combine a cat with a peacock?

(This is George, he also lives at my parents' house).

This does:

And this:

I guess it's a good thing Charles isn't a bird-cat. Or else George would probably be lunch.

The end.

Gaheris the Turtle

This is my turtle:

His name is Gaheris (after a knight of the round table, Arthur's nephew and Gawain's brother), and he is is an Eastern Painted Turtle. I rescued Gaheris from the malevolent schemes of an SUV, who tried desperately to squash Gaheris into the saddest lump you've ever seen. All I can say, is that somewhere a butterfly must have flapped its wings one time too many.

Today, however, I realized it was time to let him go. So, together, Goblin and I took the long journey to deposit him back into the wild. Now, he is free, and the universe is right again.

My Cat, the Hacker-Mob Boss

Most people know what their cats do when they're at home alone. Eat, sleep, and sleep, are three very common examples.

My cat, on the other hand, Goblin, is a very suspicious sort of cat. When I come home, she always runs away. When I am in the bathroom or kitchen, she just sits there and meows. The rest of the time, she sits in the corner, under my desk or in awkward places and just stares at me. She doesn't move or blink. Just stares. For hours.

Like this:

When I'm sleeping she either sits on my head, sits on the window sill above my head, or races back and forth maniacally chasing Christmas bows that don't move and pieces of string that don't fight back.

So then I wonder: what does Goblin do while I'm gone?

Here's the thing: NASA was hacked 13 times last year, and 48 NASA laptops were stolen in the past two years. Do I think my cat stole them? No. I think she paid someone to do it. I think she was the hacker, however. She's like a hacker-mob boss who runs a ring of ridiculously smart criminals that are trying to take control of the space station. NASA claims that the space station is safe, but if Goblin can speak Russian, then they had better watch out.

""But why?" you ask. "Why would Goblin want to take control of the space station?

"Don't you read the news?" I reply. 

Look at these headlines: Hundreds of Cats Rescued in Animal Cruelty Case at Caboodle Ranch, Cat Count Nears 70 at Elmer Avenue, President of California Fish and Game Commission Shoots a Cat: Now He Is the One Up a Tree, 200 Cats Removed from NY Home, and worst of all, Japanese Cat Lovers Snarl at New Law which puts a curfew on the public appearance of animals. They have to be home by 8:00pm!

Goblin the Hacker-Mob Boss is merely trying to command a new life for cats of all breeds. By taking control of the International Space Station, she knows she can negotiate for a cat-sized spaceship which she will then command, taking as many cats as possible away from here to start a new life on a far away planet--a planet of milk and fish. I wish her luck.

Goblin

Recently, I have been spending a lot of time with my cat. Goblin is her name, and she is a beautiful, long-haired calico. You probably remember her from Rutherford the Unicorn-Sheep's play date. She makes funny faces sometimes.

The thing about Goblin that is different than any other cat I've ever had, is that she talks constantly. If I get up at 4am to go to work, she starts meowing. If I get home from work at noon, she starts meowing. Usually if I'm working at the computer or cleaning she either sleeps or hides, but if I'm not paying enough attention to her, she meows.

Whenever I am in the kitchen she meows. Like this:

My favourite thing about Goblin is not how she sleeps on my head every night, or how she scratches the back of the couch when she thinks I'm not looking, or how she licks plastic bags: it's how she attacks the little tiny white feathers that come out of pillows. They're so small that they are almost invisible, so it looks like she's attacking the air or the rug or nothing at all.

The thing about cats is that they're completely insane and yet so awesome. The first time my parents' cat, Spidercat, came into the house, she was so afraid of the dog that she leaped six feet in the air and crawled her way up the wall, ruining mom's wallpaper. Just yesterday, Mom caught her, not walking across the top of the cupboard, but balancing on the teapots sitting on top of the cupboard.

My deceased cat, Ginger, used to catch rabbits and bring them to me as a gift. Or something.

The most amazing cat I've ever heard of is Schrodinger's cat. In Quantum Mechanics there exists something called a superposition of states. This idea suggests that an electron exists in its theoretical states simultaneously until it is measured--then it decides where it is. Schrodinger thought this was silly. He proposed this thought experiment:

Put a cat in a steel box with food and a vial of radioactive poison. If any of the poison decays during the time the cat is in the box, then the vial is smashed and the food filled with poison. But, since we can't see or measure the cat in any way, then according to Quantum Superposition we would be forced to believe that the cat is both dead and alive simultaneously, until we open the box and the cat becomes one or the other.

 Nowadays I think PETA would object to putting cats in steel boxes and feeding them poison, but imagine it: a cat that can both exist and not exist simultaneously. I think we can now understand why they jerk their eyes and heads around like they're watching things that aren't there: it's because they are there. Cats can see electrons in superposition. Because they're smart. And manipulative. I have proof right here:

 Moral of the story: Go get a cat.

The Greatest Battle of All Time: The Leaf Blower vs The Nap.

My biggest trouble with napping during the day  is that every time I try, an ever-present leaf blower begins to roar outside my window. I can never see this tenacious creature, but nevertheless it's there, blowing leaves while I'm trying to nap. Its hunting howl is the sort of sound which skips your ears and jumps right into your head; it bellows with an endless continuity, persisting through my agonizing attempts to cover my ears, stuff my pillow over my head, and ultimately, squeeze into my closet.

Then, after I've given up all hope of acquiring some mid-day rest, it stops.

The Leaf Blower doesn't seem to bother Goblin. She could sleep through an attack of angry meteors or mordant spiders. In fact, I am certain that my quite languorous cat has a mysterious shield which acts as a barricade around her sleeping body and allows no noise except that of impending danger. 

My parent's new cat, Spidercat, has different super powers. She can jump about five feet, and scale the vertical walls of a house in under three seconds. Her ears are so large that she keeps radar devices stored inside, so she not only knows when enemies are approaching, but she can consume massive amounts of dark matter as she eats said enemies.


I am hoping, with the way science is progressing, that one day I will be able to harness the powers of Goblin and Spidercat so that I can finally get my nap.